1 Mother 2 Another

Yesterday was our annual pilgrimage to see
the “real” Santa at Macy’s Herald Square. Brian
and I have been trekking for a photo with the big guy for almost
two decades now, having started when we were in high school
together, and have an ever-growing string of photos to look at and
see ourselves grow old before our very eyes. As fun as that is,
though, Maddie’s become just as enamored of the tradition as
we are and was really looking forward to a chat with the Man In
Red.


After informing kiddo that we’d be going to see Santa after
her nap, we spent the rest of lunch listening to Maddie practice
what she’d say to Santa, discoursing on desired toys while
simultaneously reflecting (in a very self-aware way, I thought) on
the very real possibility that she’d be too shy to speak to
him.

“I need to tell him I want the dolly
changing station with a bath with bubbles and a place to give my
baby night-night lotion and change her diaper and feed her. But I
may be too shy to speak to him. And a tent to play in. But I may
want to talk to him by myself. And a dolly. But I don’t think
I want to sit with him.”


She spent much of the meal wrestling with herself, worrying
he’d think she was rude but not sure she could overcome her
shyness, dying to tell him about her toy list while stressing he
wouldn’t know if she couldn’t spit it out. I finally
reassured her that even if she didn’t talk to him, he’d
know what she wanted. And truthfully, Maddie was just as excited
about seeing the Santa Village you have to wait in line in as she
was about seeing Santa himself. She has a vague memory of being
scared of him last year, which wars with all the warm fuzzy
feelings she gets when she sees a photo of him or reads a book
about how much he loves children.


When the time came to go see Santa, Maddie brought Big Elmo along
at the last minute for moral support, then ended up (cruelly, I
thought) relegating him to the car while she went in to chat. When
we got to Santa’s village an elf greeted us with, “Hi!
Are you ready to see Santa?” Maddie gave her a terse nod.
“Yes, I am. But I might be shy when I see him. But it’s
ok if I’m shy. But I’ll still like him, and he’ll
know that.”


Nonplussed, the elf rallied bravely. “All right! Hey, did you
know your red sweater is Santa’s favorite color?”


Rookie mistake.


“Yes, I did,” Maddie said scornfully.
“That’s why I wore it.”


“Erp, come on in! He’s waiting!” the
puddle-formerly-known-as-an-elf said feebly.


We oohed. We ahhed. And quickly got to just outside Santa’s
door. Peeking around the doorframe, Maddie spied Santa talking to
another family. I saw my cutie take a couple deep breaths and
straighten her sweater, then glance at Brian.


“Are you ready, Cora?” Brian asked an oblivious albeit
cheerfully-dressed baby.


Maddie looked at Cora. “Don’t worry, Cora, I’ll
be right here. I’ve met Santa; he’s very nice.
He’ll remember me.” And she marched bravely in.


I quickly ran in the room. “Hi, Santa! I’m sure you
remember Madeleine from last year!”


“Why, yes, Madeleine, how are you this year? My, you’ve
grown!”


Let’s skip over the next few minutes, where Maddie stands
stone-still and stares at Santa, frozen in shyness but unwilling to
look away. When the photo elf starts to desperately nudge everyone
towards poses, Santa pats the side of his chair. “Maddie,
would you like to sit next to me?”


Silence.


Then a little body scrambling up next to him, eyes never leaving
his. Still silence, but a definite snuggle action going on.
“And what would you like for Christmas, Madeleine?”


Silence.


Then –


With arms gesturing wildly, Maddie takes off. “I’d like
a dolly changing table with a bath with bubbles so I can bathe her
and a place to put on her night night lotion and . . .”


My kid stopped briefly to take a photo, but that’s about it.


As for Cora, she stared at him the whole time, never crying, never
blinking. I think she was blindsided by the whole thing and
couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Truthfully, I felt a bit
bad, as if I’d fallen down on the job and not briefed her
enough ahead of time. As we walked out the door Cora looked dazed,
unsure what just happened, and I said, “Don’t worry,
baby, you’ll have fun next year.”


Turning to Maddie, I asked, “Did you like visiting
Santa?”


“Oh, yes,” she replied happily. “I was a little
shy, but I think I did well.”


I think so too, kiddo.