1 Mother 2 Another

For the first time since Maddie’s been born, Brian and I spent the evening out together last night – from late afternoon until well after she went to bed. Though Gamma’s done a dry run putting Maddie to bed while we were hiding in the basement, this was the first time we’ve both been absent for such a long period. Giddy with freedom, we went to hear a romantic little talk on such topics as camelback contractions and episiotomies.

Yep, it’s time for that labor refresher course.

Though I had a scheduled c-section the first time around due to Maddie’s being breech, I’m going to try one more time for a vaginal delivery, so we went to a VBAC class – vaginal birth after c-section. There’s apparently no real difference between a VBAC class and a Lamaze refresher course, except for the fact that the teaching staff expects a VBAC to be harder for a woman than a second vaginal birth, since your body didn’t learn from the first labor. I guess I’d been anticipating some sort of tailored class talking about VBAC risks, possible complications, positions to avoid, I’m not sure what. But the nurse teaching the course deliberately avoided discussing VBAC risks; she said she assumed we’d have that conversation with our OB.

I’m not going to tell you the risks and stats for VBACs here – there’s a good website for VBAC information like that. I’ll just say that if the pregnancy is uncomplicated and the baby’s not huge and in a good position, a VBAC is the safest method out there (from what I’ve read), with a scheduled c-section following a close second. We trust my OB implicitly and have given her full permission to make the call towards the end of the pregnancy. So right now we’re planning a VBAC, with the understanding that if the baby doesn’t turn or gets too big then all bets are off.

Since I had a scheduled c-section last time around, I’ve not experienced labor at all. Which means that my body’s a complete rookie and I don’t get that easy 2 ½-hour-labor my girlfriend Abby had with her second (though she’d probably argue with my use of the word “easy”!). No, for me, it’s getting to experience all over again that first-time apprehension: how will my body respond to this? What’s my pain threshold like? How long will it take? What the heck did I sign up for nine months ago???

The last time around I’d hoped to be in a birthing center in a hospital, with lots of freedom for movement and support “staff” and so on. This time around it’s out of the question, and I’ll be hooked up to a monitor a fair amount of time as they keep and eye on my uterus scar and the baby’s heartbeat. I know I’ll be chafing at being confined and so was diligently taking notes last night as the nurse offered labor position suggestions that you can do while hooked up.

I think that the biggest thing this class did for me, though, is bring home in a very real way that I’m going to have a baby soon. Obvious, I know, but it’s much more real now than it was 24 hours ago. Suddenly I’m remembering I have to put together a birth plan and labor music playlist and dig out those battery-powered candles and aromatherapy and buy those ginormous maxi pads and nipple cream and breast shields and . . .whew. So far this pregnancy’s been mostly about 1) how it will affect Maddie; and 2) how it will affect my sleep. We’ve been working on preparing Maddie, and I’ve been trying (unsuccessfully) to psyche myself up for a return to those sleepless nights and sleep-deprivation days.

Now, though, I’m forcing myself to slow down a bit, make a connection with peanut in a way other than a quick “Please don’t kick mommy right now” sort of way, and start looking forward to meeting her for the first time. I’ve got plenty of time to stress over the birth itself, but the truth is babies come out – they do it all the time. So now I’m simply taking more time to experience the moment, develop a bit of anticipation, and think about the day when our family will increase.

Oh, yeah, and try very hard not to think about camelback contractions and episiotomies.