1 Mother 2 Another

It seems my daughter’s been shopping for a personality recently, and I’m not sure but I think she’s been just haphazardly throwing whatever’s on sale in the cart.

Is it just Maddie, or is this a phase everyone goes through? These random things start emerging that make you scratch your head and wonder: is she watching German t.v. behind your back and not understanding the subtitles? Are you walking in your sleep and doing really weird things she’s trying to emulate?

For there seems to be no rhyme or reason to these idiosyncrasies popping up every few days. Here’s just a smattering of the Greatest Hits she’s collecting:

Invisible Girl Maddie and I often have scarf dancing time during the day, and one of the scarves I’ve given her is a sheer white one. Somehow the scarf dancing collided with the game of “Where’s Maddie?” that we’d play with her Silky, an elaborate form of peek-a-boo with a rigid form to be observed. So now Madeleine will put the white dancing scarf over her head and as I call out, “Where’s Maddie? Where is she? I can’t find her!” she walks around the house convinced she’s invisible. She chortles merrily to herself as she meanders mindlessly but tries to stifle her laughter whenever she comes near me, convinced it will give her location away. She’s even gone so far as to put the scarf on her head, walk over to our entertainment center (which is off-limits to her), and stare at it contemplatively. You can see the wheels turning: “Hmm. If I’m invisible, they won’t see me touch this . . .” In the end she decided not to risk it and went back to her La Sonnambula routine. My favorite part: hearing her breathily “creep” up to me, snorting softly, before whisking the scarf off her head and “surprising” me.

Head Sitter Ah, a picture’s worth a thousand words, isn’t it? She’s started enjoying sitting on furniture like the grownups do, and we’ve got a small rocking chair of which she may partake. The ability to sit and stand at will was a mechanical triumph for her, and I understand her pride and desire to exercise that skill. But apparently her favorite place to sit is on top of a parent’s head.

The first time this happened I was lying on her floor while she continuously circled her ottoman. I was half chatting, half meal planning when I became aware of a soft, plump, thankfully pleasant-smelling bottom descending on my head. Maddie screamed with delight, stood back up, circled around, and did it again. Apparently the head’s the perfect height for sitting. And thus a new game was invented. It’s really only fun for half the players.

Monster Ah, the roaring phase. Don’t know why, don’t know how it got started. But she likes to “RAAAAAHHHH!” and walk around like Frankenstein, whom she’s never seen. And you’d best tremble in fear and run from her, or she turns into the Head Sitter as retribution.

Fashion Designer Mad’s taken an active interest in her clothing. Or at least, her footwear. We spent a lot of time during the brownout week as Naked Girl, but apparently the diaper wasn’t enough. In a family that never wears shoes in the house, Maddie’s decided to be the odd duck. She’ll stand near the shoe bin and point and jabber frantically until you hand her a pair of her shoes. Once you’ve guessed the right pair she’ll a) carry them around, b) put them on (or make you do it), or c) some combination. Picture a girl, naked but for one shoe. Yes, one shoe to wear, one shoe to carry. Doesn’t everyone?

The shoe fetish isn’t limited to her own; if adult shoes aren’t put away immediately they’re fair game. She’ll carry my sandals around the house happily, a subtle reminder that Mommy was lazy and didn’t put her shoes up. And every time Gamma comes over Maddie begs to wear her Gamma’s shoes. Fortunately, they wear almost the same size.

Eccentric Eater I know she’s hitting the age where she’ll be picky about what she eats. I just didn’t know she’d be picky about how she eats. She’s mommy’s little helper with the spoon these days, but for some reason needs to have her own spoon, which she puts down on her tray. She then picks up a bit of food with her hands, puts it on the spoon, picks up the spoon, and puts it in her mouth. And if you’re wondering if she’s got the mechanically ability to scoop food onto the spoon, the answer is yes. She simply thinks that’s boring, I guess. Sometimes she wants Mommy or Daddy to be the spoon, and she’ll pick food up, gravely hand it to us with a lengthy explanation, and expect us to then put the food in her mouth. Don’t ask.

Truth be told, I love seeing these glimpses of who she’s going to be as an adult – how she’ll make decisions, thinking things through, and so forth. And I’m so happy to catch her at an age where her decisions are so uncensored, so uncolored by society and what she “thinks” are the “right” things to do.

But mostly, I’m happy to be storing up rich tales to embarrass her with when she gets older.

If you’re in the same boat, please post a kooky kid story. Tell me my child’s not the only one that does these crazy things.